Google Images, why can’t you deliver me a photo of a heart-shaped box full of batteries? This image is the closest I could get. I hate it and it’s stupid.
At CVS they had a big battery display right next to the Valentine’s Day section. I thought, wouldn’t it be a hilarious V-Day gift to give someone a beautiful heart-shaped box full of AA batteries? But, then I realized people would just think I was making a vibrator joke and now my joke is ruined. There’s something inherently funny to me about batteries alone. They’re highly useful and necessary for so many different things and they’re kind of expensive, and yet. And yet.
Thanks a lot, sex toys. You ruined batteries for me.