Oh, maybe I’ll fly from Newark to Philadelphia to Atlanta when the Starbucks in hell serves cold, frothy frappuccinos

Really, United Airlines? I wouldn’t really call it a “Star Alliance” if none of your flights go directly from NYC to ATL. More like Crap Alliance. Right? High five! Silent screaming. Now I’m dead. And then my ghost angrily screams those few bars of Rhapsody in Blue.

WHY IS THERE NO AIRTRAN* SALE?

*Last year I put a bunch of Airtran puns on my blog when there WAS a sale and an AirTran flight attendant reblogged it!