Fresh mode is my dress code

baseln said: isn’t that like…drinking soap?

Yes. But worse.


Confirmed: Lavender tea tastes like nasty garbage. The warm lavender steam is nice. But boy oh boy, undrinkable. Maybe I steeped it for too long, but that’s what I get for straying into hippy dippy nonsense.

My friend Shiva

It’s not easy to be my friend. I’m very shy and introverted and socially anxious and it’s hard to get to know me. In high school I went on the band-orchestra field trip to Six Flags or King’s Island or wherever. I shared a hotel room with Shiva and she tore down those social barriers I have instantly. It was easy for her. There aren’t very many people like that in the world. And I’m not just saying that because she’s gone. I knew it then. As a socially awkward person, she was just one of those people where in my mind I’m constantly saying “thank god for this person” because talking and laughing with her was easy.

I had been looking forward to that field trip for weeks, hoping it could be the opportunity to finally get this guy I had a crush on to pay attention to me. But he blatantly ignored me and shrugged me off. When I sat next to him on the bus he was visibly annoyed and asked me not to sit next to him on the way home. It was soul crushing. And yet, because of Shiva, I still had fun on that trip. A lot of fun.

There’s this game that I like to force all my friends to play. It doesn’t have an official name. It has the working title of “paper telephone.” It involves everyone writing a sentence and then passing the paper and everyone illustrating the sentence, and so on. It’s hard to explain and usually people protest playing, but every time you play, big laughter is always a guarantee. Everyone will laugh really hard. It’s never failed. The first time I ever played that game was on the bus with Shiva. So many years later I’m still playing it. I feel grateful that every time I play that game and laugh, I will think of her.

I find it oddly comforting that our last G chat conversation was about Britney Spears’ fake British accent. It makes me smile.

You know what looks SO silly? Bear skeletons.

You know what looks SO silly? Bear skeletons.