"40 Friday" was just suggested for my office.
I got a tweet in the NYT because I’m so sensible.
Winter is a big idiot. Time to tell it how we really feel.
I keep hearing glass clink together and I’m home alone so I thought it was a ghost in my kitchen but I think it’s really someone outside stealing the recyclables.
"Closing a tab" can mean paying your bill at a bar or x-ing out of a sub window in an internet browser. WHAT A WORLD. Would you like me to come give a lecture to your english language class?