the.trifler

Fresh mode is my dress code

My mom tells it like it is (and is officially the greatest)

  • Mom: You should try the lemon Yoplait.
  • me: I don't buy the flavored ones. I get plain yogurt and put honey and fruit on it.
  • Mom: How did you get to be so.... I can't think of a word.
  • me: What?
  • Mom: If you buy plain yogurt and put honey and fruit on it that makes you a hippie.
This is today

This is today

Hey, soul sister

I saw a young lady about my age ordering chicken and rice from the halal cart AND holding a McDonald’s McFlurry. I wanted to ask if she would be my best friend but she was on the phone.

SHOULD I DO A MISSED CONNECTION ON CRAIGSLIST?

I was the blond white girl in the ill-fitting chambray dress awkwardly staring at you with admiration.

Also today a pigeon flew into my head. Whenever a pigeon flies low near me I kind of duck, then I feel silly thinking, “It wouldn’t actually fly into me.” Turns out it would. But I’ve always had a higher than average opinion of pigeons and I don’t think any less of them after this experience. It’s all good, pigeons. I got ya.

theskyisbetter:

I could just really use a sloth hug right now. (via Epic Ponyz)

me too

theskyisbetter:

I could just really use a sloth hug right now. (via Epic Ponyz)

me too

http://nicepants.tumblr.com/post/7536194590

nicepants:

“I think the worst part of my job is covering dinner events and pretending I’m not hungry when I’m actually starving.”

RMJTweets (via partylikeajournalist)

Oh man, and peeps are always like, there’s an extra plate! Help yourself! You can have this extra salad! Have a drink!

I CANT CONSUME ANYTHING YOU GIVE ME QUIT ASKING

 Back when I was a reporter I turned down a free haircut and I still regret it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I should’ve taken that haircut. Man I was stupid with that integrity BS.

nicepants:

Because I am among the lowest level print reporters there are, I am concerned rather than flattered to acquire a self-identified “fan.” This concern only multiplies, sir, when the sole content of your e-mails is smiley emoticons.

I didn’t mean to creep you out. Sometimes when I mean to say, “I love reading your articles,” it comes out like:

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) 

jossip:

ONE OF ARE REAL ADULT LADYS LIKES TO COOK FOR EVERYONE AND THIS IS HER OFFICIAL POSITION ON STEAK MAKIN

jossip:

ONE OF ARE REAL ADULT LADYS LIKES TO COOK FOR EVERYONE AND THIS IS HER OFFICIAL POSITION ON STEAK MAKIN

(Source: starehard, via ffffood)

Those dastardly devils down at Kellogg’s are really something else. I saw this photo of Rice Krispies  “dipper treats” and naturally I wanted to make them. The banner ad said I could click for the recipe, but it did not have a direct link to the recipe.* To get the recipe you had to give them your email address OR “like” Rice Krispies on Facebook. Are you effing kidding me? Here I was, willing to click on a link to your marketing web site and you blew it by going totally off the rails. So I went to Google and got the recipe from some mommy blogger called, no joke, Mommy Gaga.

*Like I would really follow the recipe anyway.

Those dastardly devils down at Kellogg’s are really something else. I saw this photo of Rice Krispies  “dipper treats” and naturally I wanted to make them. The banner ad said I could click for the recipe, but it did not have a direct link to the recipe.* To get the recipe you had to give them your email address OR “like” Rice Krispies on Facebook. Are you effing kidding me? Here I was, willing to click on a link to your marketing web site and you blew it by going totally off the rails. So I went to Google and got the recipe from some mommy blogger called, no joke, Mommy Gaga.

*Like I would really follow the recipe anyway.