No, I’m not pregnant. I see ghosts.
Last night I was out in my hood and I passed this mom who asked her 5ish-yr-old daughter, “Who runs the world?” Little girl responded, “Girls!”
Let’s take a moment to talk about Red Lobster cheesy biscuits. I, unfortunately, discovered that you can get 6 of these for takeout for $2. And a warm cheesy biscuit washes away how soul-crushingly depressing it is to set foot in the Times Square Red Lobster. It was about 9:30 p.m., I hadn’t eaten dinner, I was starving, and I looked up to see the Red Lobster, a blinking beacon. Things is, I don’t recommend trying this after 7 p.m. You will have to order from the bar and it will take a long time. And as you wait you have to be surrounded by the kind of people who hang out at the bar at a Red Lobster. Hopefully the biscuits are handed to you before too many suicidal thoughts creep in. I was looking particularly forlorn this evening when I was told my biscuits would be free. This is the best thing that ever happened to me. Even better than the time I got a milkshake from Steak ‘n Shake with two cherries instead of one.
- go for a long drive
- make an “icebox pie.*”
NEITHER OF THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN. The end.