the.trifler

Fresh mode is my dress code

I swear I didn’t eat anyone

I’m going through a comical rate of roommate turnover right now. It’s just bad luck that I had two brand new subletters decide to give up on New York City entirely after only ONE MONTH each. It’s making me look like that fish in the fish tank—the one you realize has been eating the other fish after they’ve started to mysteriously disappear.

I take solace in the fact that these NY early deserters will have to live with a seed of shame in their stomachs every time they hear Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind.”

PS - They probably just moved out because they couldn’t process me with a normal brain.

Leave your shoes on

Leaving Hong Kong I did not have to take off my shoes for airport security, which was incredibly nice. (Additional bonus: no yelling) You still have to do the whole liquids in a bag, take out your laptop crap, but can we agree that you still have to take off your shoes in the U.S. because they know it’s a stupid procedure, but if they take it away, we’ll question all their other dumb procedures as pointless too?

When I was going through Newark security at the beginning of my trip one of the agents was harping on everyone to smile and was complaining that everyone looked so grim waiting in the security line. Are you serious? Why would anyone be smiling as they are being yelled at, herded, and about to have their rights violated?

dreams

  • Brittany: I dreamt we went shopping for swimsuits.
  • Me: I dreamt that Puck from Glee shot and killed Britney Spears.
THEY DON’T HAVE A DAIRY QUEEN IN NEW YORK CITY BUT THEY DO HAVE A DAIRY QUEEN IN MACAU :(

THEY DON’T HAVE A DAIRY QUEEN IN NEW YORK CITY BUT THEY DO HAVE A DAIRY QUEEN IN MACAU :(