January 2011
December 2010
non-NYC NYE
I’m going to a big band music fancy-dancing thing tonight with my family. My dad said that if anyone asks him to dance he’s going to hiss “like a mean cat.” Theoretically, I should be good at fancy-dancing because I have good balance and hand-eye coordination but I’ve never been formally trained so I always end up embarrassing myself when I try to do it. PLUS WHO...
1 tag
My New Years resolutions 2011
Commit a minor crime to see what prison is like
Make more in-person transactions at the bank instead of using the ATM to increase chances of meeting potential husband
Start listening to podcasts
Start telling everyone I know about how I listen to podcasts
Find a way to make the feral cats in my neighborhood like me
Remember to tell people who work at the bank that I listen to podcasts
When did everyone in the world start putting their...
Do you really need to see upfront whether or not it’s a spoon or a fork that badly? What is going on?
who do I have to kill to get a decent photograph...
2 tags
my top 10 list for 2010
smiles
eggs
cats
people with disproportionately small hands
trees
bears
legs
basketballs
chips
people who are really into scented candles, like more than average.
I probably should’ve started on this earlier. Let’s see if 2011 will also have these things!
4 tags
makeup talk. and a velvet question.
So… I don’t find myself talking about makeup very often, especially not out loud. I’ve been using the same eyeliner for a while now upon recommendation of a Sephora associate. I typically avoid talking to the employees of Sephora as I avoid talking to everyone everywhere, so I don’t know why I asked one of them for a rec. I must’ve been desperate. The brand is Makeup...
“The hottest club in all of Indiana”
– is a hilarious phrase my dad used when telling a story from his college days
1 tag
Indiana Snow Penises Given Generous Local News... →
My hometown news station made Huffpo by doing a story on snow penises. <3
There is a video and it is amazing.
4 tags
Bugs bugs bugs: tropical climate or meth-fueled...
I have about 40 mosquito bites. I’m currently trying to lure what appears to be a giant flying ant or wasp-like creature away from my bed so I can sleep. I feel like there are bugs everywhere and while I am on an island where crystal meth is a major thing (cook rice not ice!), I’m pretty sure this is my reality.
Last time I was here a giant centipede CRAWLED INTO MY SHORTS. And even...
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
“After two months my lashes were so long that they were nearly unmanageable. I...”
– In Defense of Latisse
I can’t wrap my brain around tangled eyelashes, combing eyelashes.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
“You suck at curtain adjustment.”
– My dad
It’s true. When I adjust a curtain, it looks pretty bad.
My dad: Tomorrow morning, if Joanna feels better, I'm making crepes for breakfast.
Me: And if I don't feel better, no crepes for anyone.
3 tags
Yesterday I vomited up a $9 sandwich in an...
Yes, I’m bragging!
1 tag
This is now a beauty blog
I just used some expired face wash I left at my dad’s house two years ago. I’m feeling flawless and radiant.
2 tags
I think more rats should be thrown at bad guys in...
see next post
1 tag
1 tag
The amazing pie recipe I invented today: Cranberry...
There is a video to come, but I have to share this recipe. For something I imagined before I went to the grocery store, it turned out to be insanely GOOD TO EAT.
Ingredients
pie shell
2 seedless oranges, peeled, chopped.
1 cup fresh canberries
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup sugar
2 tablespoons flour
Put orange and cranberries into blender or food processor until liquefied. (This recipe would...
2 tags
dessert stigma: it goes both ways!
Dessert and guilt are pretty much synonymous in our culture. If you opt for dessert you’re being “bad.” Today I brought cookies to my as-yet-unnamed improv supergroup. (This recipe specifically, which I highly recommend. I am deeply ashamed of the source but I will skip the rambling justification.) All the cookies were eaten. I think most people ate three. I was pleasantly...