January 2012
I’m pretty sure I never want to see another animated gif as long as I live.
I used to think people who complained about them were being real sticks in the mud. It’s time for me to join you in the mud, no-fun people. While we’re here let’s complain about silly reply-all emails filling up our inboxes. (jk, I would never.)
juliaward replied to your photo: Julia gave us voodoo dolls! This one is mine.
these are not voodoo dolls!
I know :(
cow poem
supergalaxy:
where am i in a field in england so long ago
There’s no author cited for this, but if I had to guess I’d go with Flossy the 19th century English cow. That, or Lady Fuchsia, also a 19th century English cow.
“Holy shit. Either that dude [Mitch Daniels] is living in some psychotically...”
– Jon Stewart
1 tag
choice lines from Law & Order: Criminal Intent
“I don’t even know Kip McGonigle!”
(Sadly, Kip McGonigle, best name ever, was murdered.)
“What, are you the sex police?”
“No, we’re the real police.”
3 tags
nailed it
Natalie: did you listen to that this american life piece a few weeks ago?
me: no
Natalie: (i know you hate TAL)
me: i would never
me: i read the wired piece a year ago!
sorry
for sounding douchey
Natalie: i think the dude had something to do with that
and you really did sound douchey
me: i was trying to
Natalie: i know
nailed it
Oh, maybe I'll fly from Newark to Philadelphia to...
Really, United Airlines? I wouldn’t really call it a “Star Alliance” if none of your flights go directly from NYC to ATL. More like Crap Alliance. Right? High five! Silent screaming. Now I’m dead. And then my ghost angrily screams those few bars of Rhapsody in Blue.
WHY IS THERE NO AIRTRAN* SALE?
*Last year I put a bunch of Airtran puns on my blog when there WAS a sale...
effervescence replied to your video: Shit New Yorkers Say. I know this is SO last week,…
QUEENS?!
YEAH WHAT OF IT? EVERYONE IS MISSING OUT
oh no. this is me →
2 tags
Toy all your thang on me
I was trying to fall asleep, first thinking about different ways to reheat frozen soup, and then everything I ever laughed at in 2006 came flooding into my brain. Like how my Political Ethics study group made a Facebook group called “Save Darfur, Minnesota” complete with charts to show it was in fact an economically depressed town with a high-ish poverty rate.
Also Po po po po popo...
seriously though, what is it?
Natalie: i have rediscovered cottage cheese
me: i have yet to discover cottage cheese
Uh, teens wore pajamas to school when I was in... →
Though I feel pretty cool because I still wear pajamas out in public— so excited I’m up on the trends of the young people. Put my number on speed dial, cool hunters.
I haven’t been reading Twitter too much lately…. Have I missed any PIPA/Pippa jokes? Have I??????
3 tags
Mmmm there's nothing like one small square of dark...
One of the most cliched bits of health and dieting advice is that dark chocolate is good for you. If someone says “I eat a square of dark chocolate when I’m craving something sweet” all I hear is “I look at photos of cakes and cry.”
I was looking at the Bon Appetit 2012 Food Lover’s Cleanse and I noticed they incorporated dark chocolate. I thought it was...
“How’s New York? Still pee pee, pizza, that kind of thing?”
– Craig Ferguson
waffle iron cleaning update
I’m trying out some vinegar on this mess because vinegar is apparently a thing used to clean stuff by people who actually know what they’re doing. AND this was confirmed by the ghost maid on American Horror Story. So.
Add "cleaning a waffle iron" to the long list of...
I would say “Who will love me now?” but that’s pretty much implied. Even worse, the waffles I made were kind of mediocre because I really flew by the seat of my pants for the recipe. Even worse than that, I was only tinkering with the recipe to get the batter volume down to a reasonable amount for one person. Little known fact: “Waffles For One” was the alternate...
oh no
When a killer subdues a victim and holds them somewhere for a period of time before killing them, that’s called a “sandwich bag” according to Law & Order Criminal Intent!
cell phone addiction saved my life
I forgot my purse at McManus. I will snootily say that I’m not a forgetter of things— I check my keys about 10 times before leaving the house and I proofread casual personal emails, so clearly this was very out of character. Fortunately I had only walked 5 blocks before I reached to compulsively check my phone and discovered the horror.
This was the order of my concerns:
My precious...
“I wonder if mom knows that her daughter is doing more than just fact checking.”
– UH OH, Jeff Goldblum, magazine-related murder on Law & Order Criminal Intent.
A good way not to meet people in a bar
Is to mime like you’re vomiting up a bird that then flies away. Many times.
I’ve tested this.
“i need to stop,” i whispered as i clicked next episode.
“If I wanted to assault an actress, I’d do it in print.”
– witty theatre critic on Law & Order SVU
Watchvirtualephemera:
Daniel Radcliffe SNL Video Promo
British person doing American accent gets me every time.
“…the creation of the UCB Theater is by far my proudest professional...”
– Amy Poehler in this SFGate article (via iamachilles)